Grief is…

“Grief felt fourth-dimensional, abstract, faintly familiar. I was cold.” Grief feels multi-dimensional, concrete, and terribly familiar. I am cold. Always cold. “But, I thought, in support of myself, everything has changed, and she is gone and I can think what I like.” Yes, everything has changed. He is gone. But I can’t think what I […]

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18 March 2013

“How are you? What will you do tomorrow?”, the short text message read. Tomorrow? Why tomorrow? What is tomorrow? But… Of course. How couldn’t I? I couldn’t, for I was suffering from short term memory loss. I wasn’t able to remember him, neither the pain, the void (which was good), nor the happy moments, the […]

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In Liverpool

I remember saying in one my posts, I guess in Black, that I will keep going back to writing about, or getting help from music. Particular songs. The song of the day, of that day. Sometimes the song itself is the source of inspiration. At other times, I have something to write about in mind, […]

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Speed. I am speed.

“Okay, here we go. Focus. Speed. I am speed. One winner, 42 losers. I eat losers for breakfast. Breakfast? Maybe I should have had breakfast? Brekkie could be good for me. No, no, no, focus. Speed. Faster than fast, quicker. I am Lightning. Speed. I am Speed.” I don’t know how many times we watched […]

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I am tired

Your wheels are turning but you’re upside down You say when he hits you, you don’t mind Because when he hurts you, you feel alive Is that what it is Red lights, gray morning You stumble out of a hole in the ground A vampire or a victim It depends on who’s around — Faraway, […]

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Denial

“The five stages of grief”, developed by the Swiss-American psychiatrist Elisabeth Kübler-Ross in her 1969 book “On Death and Dying”, is one of the most well-known analytical frameworks of modern psychology. Based on Kübler-Ross’ comprehensive fieldwork on terminally ill patients, the model originally aimed to understand how people cope with death, and not grief per […]

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A love like no others

A dark hospital room illuminated only by the dim light emanating from the IV drip he is attached to day and night, the silence interrupted by the odd beeping of the machines when the quiet flow of the “toxic cure” is blocked. A frail, pain-stricken body tossing and turning in bed restlessly, hugging a brown […]

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A life like no other (in pictures)

When you are attached to IV pumps which release the “toxic cure”, and you feel nauseous and weary… There is not much to do other than playing Minecraft on i-pad or building legos… You eat whatever you find, hoping that he “eats” too while empty cups and plates are staring at you… You feel blessed […]

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In silence, poetry (re)unites…

2. the truth – don’t they say? – is painful
 and needs, you know, your blood
 needs your wounds 
only through these will the life you sought in vain pass – if it ever does pass through – 
together with the wind’s whistling and ghosts   To the one stranded on an island, sharing a […]

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Polluted by memories

Like everyone else, I have favourite movies, directors, writers, songs and song writers, and I keep returning to them in a cyclical way, not regularly, without following a particular routine, but often enough to discern a pattern. If you happen to know me in real life or follow this blog, you must have already noticed […]

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