Grief is…

“Grief felt fourth-dimensional, abstract, faintly familiar. I was cold.” Grief feels multi-dimensional, concrete, and terribly familiar. I am cold. Always cold. “But, I thought, in support of myself, everything has changed, and she is gone and I can think what I like.” Yes, everything has changed. He is gone. But I can’t think what I […]

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18 March 2013

“How are you? What will you do tomorrow?”, the short text message read. Tomorrow? Why tomorrow? What is tomorrow? But… Of course. How couldn’t I? I couldn’t, for I was suffering from short term memory loss. I wasn’t able to remember him, neither the pain, the void (which was good), nor the happy moments, the […]

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Öfke

Kübler-Ross ve Kessler’e göre yas tutmanın ikinci aşaması “öfke”, mantıklı bir nedene dayalı olmak zorunda değildir. Kimi zaman kaybettiğiniz kişiye kızarsınız, kendine iyi bakmadığı için; kimi zaman kendinize, ona daha iyi bakmadığınız için. İnkâr aşamasında olduğu gibi gerçeği – sevdiğiniz kişinin aslında ölmek istemediğini – bilirsiniz. Ama duygularınız bu açıklamayı kabul etmez. Önemli olan tek […]

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İnkâr

İsviçre kökenli Amerikalı psikiyatr Elisabeth Kübler-Ross’un 1969 tarihli Ölüm ve Ölmek Üzerine (On Death and Dying) adlı kitabında ortaya attığı “yas tutmanın beş evresi”, psikoloji alanının en bilinen – bir o kadar da yanlış anlaşılan – modellerinden biridir. Kübler-Ross’un tedavi seçenekleri tükenen hastalarla yaptığı kapsamlı saha araştırmasına dayalı bu model, aslında yas tutmayı değil, ölümü […]

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Homeless

It doesn’t feel like anything else. I feel like someone who has been unconscious for years and has suddenly woken up to another reality, another world I am unfamiliar with. As everything else is so new, so alien – and since I cannot remember the past – I don’t now know what to do, or […]

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Lori Lori

Zafer De Mir is PhD student in Musicology. He watched the short video of #Luca and I playing with the train and felt like singing this Kurdish lullaby for him. I’ve never met Zafer; but I know we share the same tears. Spare two minutes and listen to this beautiful song. Zafer De Mir Müzikoloji doktorası yapan Dersimli […]

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Our big little man

The roller-coaster that we call our life has presented us with a few surprises since we last posted here. Slowly, but resolutely, Luca recovered from his first chemo and even managed to receive a second, reduced, dose without suffering much. As we were preparing to head off to Barcelona to start the immunotherapy, we got […]

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